Stoicism is often defined by emotional control and maintaining a furrowed brow and stiff upper lip at all times. Moreover, many people often associate Stoics with not having a sense of humor. Ancient and contemporary stoics alike appear to think that laughing at the world is much better than sobbing about it. It is about providing a little dash of humor in the face of an ofter cruel world.

We should adopt a mindset that makes all of the vices of everyday folks seem amusing to us rather than horrible or awful. I do this a lot of the time. Unfortunately, you end up finding yourself chuckling a lot of the time, too. The biggest thing is not allowing yourself to get caught up in all the actions of others, which are often counter-productive to both them and society at large. From a Stoic perspective, you cannot control the actions of others. So, why get all caught up in their insanity? It is indeed better to laugh than cry.

Occasionally, life will throw you an unexpected curveball. Let’s say you and your family are just about to have dinner when your newborn decides it is the perfect time to take a dump in their diaper. Do you easily become upset? Maybe you moan or whine about changing the diaper of the little crumb picker? Do so, and you might ruin the meal for everyone else. Instead, handle it with humor. Say something whitty like, “Oh boy! I’ve been waiting to change Junior’s diaper for the last hour and can’t be happier that he decided to share it with me right now,” you say as you roll your eyes.

The tough thing to get into the habit of is learning how and what to respond to with humor. Think of a heckler attempting to trip up a stand-up comedian. How often does the comedian turn the tables with some awesome comeback that gets the audience roaring with laughter? Developing that quick wit can be a challenge, but it’s worth it. We don’t want to be negative and emotionless in our interactions with our friends, family, and even complete strangers. Stoicism isn’t about that at all. It is about seeing the world for what it is. Stoicism is about unflinchingly confronting life’s challenges. It is about living, laughing, and loving every moment we have to experience.

Likewise, you don’t want to let humor be a weapon to attack someone weaker. If you do, you end up looking like the bully you are. Instead, use it when someone directs a jab at you. A great deal of conflict, or potential conflict, can be diffused with humor. This is the skill of verbal judo, which is a learned skill. A little dash of humor can go along way in diffusing a potential bad situation.

And last but not least, in my uneducated opinion, is that we develop the ability to laugh at ourselves. It has a way of softening even the harshest of critics. First, consider yourself lucky that someone deems you important enough to target. They might say, “Man, you’re such a jerk!” Just comeback with something like, “Yeah, but if you really knew me, you’d have an even lower opinion.” Chuckle and shrug it off. That kind of thing works.

The most important point I want to make in this rambling article is that being stoic does not require you to be stern-faced and serious all of the time. You can laugh, smile, and be happy… even a little silly. Now, go out there and have some fun and remember that a dash of humor can replace frowns with smiles.