Stoicism is not the absence of feelings or being emotionless, as some would have you believe. Instead, it promotes emotional self-control to prevent our feelings from dictating our behavior. It is completely normal for people to have emotions such as happiness or anger. Stoicism teaches us how to respond appropriately to emotions to prevent irrational decisions or actions. Contrary to popular belief, Stoicism doesn’t make you dispassionate. I can attest that I still felt emotions when I was dealing with some extremely difficult life events. Stoicism enabled me to utilize reason instead of emotional response to override those often overcharged and irrational feelings. This philosophy does not advocate being emotionless. Instead, it teaches how to control them.

There is absolutely no way to remove emotion from the human experience. What this incredible philosophy teaches is the distinction between emotion and passion. Emotions will be felt by everyone. It is entirely appropriate and natural. The issue arises when the emotions become dominant (passion) and lead us to act without first considering the consequences. A stoic places special emphasis on constantly taking the time to thoughtfully consider and clarify their emotions and prevent them from running uncontrolled. While a stoic experiences emotions—I know I have—they maintain a strong mental fortress that prevents those emotions from controlling their behavior. 

Stoicism focuses on domesticating emotions rather than eradicating them. Whatever happens or how much external circumstances may change, if we can maintain our composure and manage our emotions, there is no challenge that can bring us down and no victory that can overly exalt us. We’ve all witnessed someone we love—a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, a family member, or even yourself—make grave errors and mistakes while letting intense emotions (passion) to control how they reacted to an event. This type of uncontrolled reaction is frequently destructive and can cause serious problems. Stoicism teaches us to never allow that kind of behavior. Stoics aren’t emotionless; they just keep them in check.