What exactly does it mean to be happy? Do events and circumstances outside of our control make us happy? Or, is it possible that it has to do with our own mental state and how we interpret these events and circumstances? Is being happy even obtainable?

Today, largely due to sophisticated marketing techniques, commercial media bombards us with numerous “get-happy-quick” products and services. These range from food and drink gratifications to questionable financial services that offer ways to make money fast and easily. They expertly design is this to increase the consumer want for their products and service. The sad thing is that most individuals never even understand the manner and sophistication of the manipulation. Pleasure and instant gratification are strong draws and the corporate world is well aware of how to take full advantage of these human characteristics.

We tend to associate being happy with goods and services that give us temporary pleasure or the promise of it. I see the development of these unhealthy traits, often both physically and mentally, so evident in the local grocery store. Some stressed mother is pushing her pre-schooler around in the shopping buggy as the child is either screaming for or reaching for some flashy box of cleverly marketed breakfast cereal or other product geared for children. We’ve all obviously seen this, and it displays a micro-action of the manner in which our entire consumer-based society works. Instant pleasure and happiness have become hardwired into our mental framework.

Many people never awaken from the matrix and realize they’ve been duped by large corporate marketing strategies. This goes far beyond just grocery items. It extends into almost every aspect of our modern lives. People become happy when their favorite sports team or politician wins, for example. They become happy at all manner of outside events that have no true bearing on our lives. How much of this false happiness is based on the outcome of events that are outside our ability to control? The answer is that it is the vast majority of the population that exhibits this undisirable trait. That is really sad when you stop and think about it. How much better the world and society, as a whole, could be without this corporate effort to make profit off of perceived wants and needs.

You are driven to chase that new car, bigger house, promotion at work, larger savings account, etc., and much of it is linked to your perception of happiness. But, do those things truly make you happy? maybe for the short term, but they most likely won’t over time. We become attracted to the next new shiny (fill in the blank) and then become driven to start the process of chasing after it. Unfortunately, the cycle continues indefinitely. It creates a seemingly infinite loop of false happiness that regretably outshines the important things in the lives of most people. They live their precious days chasing after the elusive happiness, which has been within their grasp all along. It is really sad when you think about it.

The study of stoicism provides a greater understanding of what is meant by “being happy.” It certainly isn’t gratification from high-sugar foods and soft drinks. It is centered on understanding that comfort and discomfort as polar opposites. Nevertheless, the stoic viewpoint approaches both of them as being part of the normal cycle of life. We will experience them throughout our lives. Learning to accept that discomfort isn’t always bad and that it can help develop a stronger mind because things aren’t always going to go your way. The ancient Stoics developed a way to overcome discomfort, and it is just as applicable today as it was 2,000 years ago.

Lastly, Stoicism is about discovering one’s life’s purpose, accepting one’s fate, and acting morally no matter what the cost to oneself. These are the keys to pleasure and happiness. True happiness is a reachable goal that is possible with significant sacrifice. Adhering to Stoic philosophy will aid in obtaining that goal. Stoics believe that overcoming fear and pain rather than intentionally avoiding them is the key to happiness. Unfortunately, in our modern world, we tend to run from anything that challenges us or pushes our mind or body. So, maybe it is time that you ask yourself: What really makes you happy? Second, you should start thinking about how to use fear and discomfort to strengthen yourself, rather than always looking for ways to avoid them.